"You are a grown adult who appreciates a floor that isn't sticky. You enjoy walking to the sofa without a piece of lego embedding itself in your foot. It is only logical to resent the mess your family makes...it doesn't mean you love them any less."
Why is the pile of papers on the counter or the dollhouse that threw up across your floor so triggering? Well because it never existed before starting a family!
Chances are you probably had a pretty clean living space when you were single . Everything had a place and was in it's place. Even if it wasn't...you controlled the space that you lived in. Fast forward to the present day, of never ending dishes, dirty socks and the pillow the dog just destroyed....it's easy to feel uncontrollable rage building inside of you.
The reality is that you now share a living space, with that comes some mindset changes. The expectation that your home will look the same way it did prior to having a family is unrealistic. This doesn't mean your home should turn into a disorganized mess, BUT simply that you might need to lower your expectations. Here are a few tips to navigate the mess your family creates:
Don't feel guilty for hating your family's mess....
You are a grown adult, who appreciates a floor that isn't sticky. You enjoy walking to the sofa without a piece of lego embedding itself in your foot. It is only logical to resent the mess your family makes...it doesn't mean you love them any less. You cannot control your feelings surrounding the chaos that is now your home, but you can control how you outwardly react to it.
Ask yourself, why you feel so triggered by the mess?
Often times it isn't the mess itself, but rather the lack of control that is problematic for us moms. We have very little control over the season of life we are in, it's only natural to fixate on the things we have some control over. Dig deep and ask yourself if there is something bigger bothering you than the mess itself...you might be surprised what you find.
Take a step back and remind yourself this season will pass...
One day the front hall that is filled with little shoes and finger prints on the mirror , will be empty. Every life stage is going to look different. Taking a moment to appreciate the one you are currently in can go a long way. Don't get caught up on the past...try to stay present.
Clean up as you go!
This can be a game changer. Rather than letting the mess pile up, tidy as you go about the day. Chances are by the time the kids have gone to bed, you are ready to unwind for the day...not dig dinosaurs out from your couch cushions.
Ask for help
Sounds simple, but we generally suck at asking for help as moms. It wasn't until a close friend mentioned she had her kids help clean up before bedtime, that I realized we shouldn't be 100% responsible for mess. Offload tasks to your partner or kids whenever you can. If you still have babies or toddlers and your partner is unavailable, hiring a cleaning service might be a good option
Finally, start a conversation around this topic! Talk to your mom friends and vent! Chances are they also appreciate clean floors and lego free feet too ;) You aren't alone and shouldn't feel guilty for hating the mess your family makes.
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