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Motherhood's Mental Load


Mental load is something we are all feeling as moms, so why is nobody talking about it!?


It's so interesting how we gloss over the more challenging aspects of motherhood and fail to pass along insights that might be useful to other moms.


I wish someone had warned me about the mental load that goes along with motherhood. Had someone done so, I might have had some more tools lined up to manage it better.


I remember feeling absolutely crazy right around the time my daughter turned 6 months old and I had no idea why. I wasn't depressed or anxious...just overwhelmed and tired. I think the reality had set in that this was how life was now . Endless loads of laundry, breastfeeding every few hours and feeling like every household task fell on my shoulders. Some days it felt like I was busy all day long, yet accomplished absolutely nothing. I didn't realize that this feeling actually had a name and just assumed there was something wrong with me.


It wasn't until scrolling TikTok during a 3am feeding that I stumbled onto the concept of mental load. How hadn't I heard of this until 8 Months after having a baby!? Why hadn't anyone talked about his before? Certainly all other moms were feeling the same way?


From this moment on, I become fascinated with the concept of mental load and was on a mission to manage it more effectively. My starting point was trying to find resources surrounding mental load online....the google search came back surprisingly empty.


How is it that a common feeling so many women experience was hardly being talked about?


The simple answer is that we as moms, aren't talking about it and we should be! It is up to us to start conversations around mental load and build better support systems to manage it. We have done an amazing job of speaking out about postpartum depression and anxiety. Those aspects of motherhood are now better understood and support is available to most who experience them . It's time we do the same with mental load.


If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed by small tasks and wanting to strangle your partner because they don't realize how much invisible labour goes into keeping the house running....you aren't alone.


I have a theory that part of the problem, is society's 1950's mentality when it comes to household responsibilities....even though its 2022. It was the norm for moms to be the household manager in past generations. Her job was to raise the kids, clean , cook and take care of errands . This work was valued and normalized. In our current society , many moms find themselves in the work force, while still managing the household. Double the work=double the mental load. The work she does in the house isn't valued or normalized , yet it still needs to be done. There needs to be a big mindset shift in our society before the topic of mental load becomes common knowledge.


The current don't ask don't tell policy surrounding mental load clearly isn't working. When majority of moms are feeling the effects of carrying the mental load in their household ....it's time to start a bigger conversation about it.


We owe it to our daughters, to create better awareness and support surrounding mental load. The current pace of motherhood isn't sustainable for so many mothers. It is up to us, to start conversations around the topic and share our feelings.


Get the conversation started. What is your mental load ?


Mine is being the only one who knows what to feed our daughter. It's a full-time job!





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